15. writings - 1

sometimes i have this really weird thing where at any given time during the day, a certain thought will creep into my mind and start perversing any comprehension of reality. once it starts, i’m confused, disappointed, in awe, and inspired by humanity and her history. a peculiar tingle goes up and down my back and i point my finger to say “nothing’s changed!”. i really don’t know how to start. sometimes during any trivial moment of my day, i’ll compare and imagine my present surroundings to a certain period dramatization. most of the time i’ll close my eyes and time travel back to medieval france or the american wild west or ancient mesoamerica. a car is just like a horse! you would think that almost every man carried a sword in medieval france but my observations have taken me the conclusion that that’s probably very wrong. only a small percentage of our population carry concealed weapons. it was probably like that back then. only a few dudes had swords. they had plates, we have plates. i’ll go to the market and imagine my world transported into an open street market in the streets of early 1900s new york. i’ve noticed that most men have traded fedoras for baseball caps. sometimes backwards, crooked baseball caps. i imagine how roads use to be when they were built for mostly walking, horses, and carriages. we produce so much litter nowadays due to easy consumerism. instead of plastic water bottles, we ought to all start wearing canteens again. i wish it was cool to not wear shoes. i mean, i need fucking money and shoes to eat at mcdonald’s. one thing that really bothers me about today’s “modern” standards is our society’s attitudes towards hygiene and cleanliness. deoderant is a conspiracy. why is there such a stigma with body odor? natural body odor does not stink. people don’t naturally stink (unless you have a terribly shitty diet). maybe you stink without any chemical cover up but i assure you, i don’t stink. i’m so mad now!

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Yo, I saw that may 13th chase on t.v. the other day. The one where the el monte police was chasing this dude and his bros. it was pretty nuts. I think it was on channel 5. I was sitting on the couch getting higher and higher and wasting my day when it started (can you believe that 30 mins earlier, channel 5 was live following another chase???). I was pretty hyped up on the chase due to my impairment. This was nuts to me that it was happened only in the next town over, about 5 miles away. I called my mom and told her to turn on channel 5. She works in rosemead so I wanted to warn her in case she decided to go out for lunch or something. I hung up and continued to watch the chase. This guy’s on the wrong side of the road. He ran the red light at 60mph! My mom calls me back and says “oh my god! Did you see that? Did you see what he just did?! This guy is crazy! Oh my god, be careful!”. i agree and laugh and hang up. There’s a moment in the chase where the suspect is over a bridge, near the freeway entrance, but the road is backed up and there’s no way through. They stop and 3 squad cars block them in from behind and get out to draw their guns. The car stays put for a while . . . . . and then it starts to maneuver a way out, WHEN A FUCKING DUDE JUMPS OUT OF THE CAR FROM THE BACKSEAT AND TRIES TO MAKE A BREAK FOR IT! He is chased and tackled to the floor. The car is still pushing past between the traffic and eventually gets through onto the 10 freeway again. My mom calls me again and says “are you still watching?? This guy is so crazy! Did you see the man run out? That’s good that they caught them! Oh my god!”. Haha still high and laughing hysterically. Even they end up near santa anita in el monte and fuck, holy shit, the dude is zig-zagging between cars and pedestrians on streets that I drive on every day! It’s about 3pm and kids are getting out of school! The watch is suspenseful. He almost hits a dude. He’s driving on the sidewalk. He hits a minivan and his car stops. He bolts out of the car and runs behind some houses towards a backyard. He’s trying to scale up a wall when the police catch him and SERVE HIM. The suspect is on the floor and an officer kicks him in the head! I think I saw some rabbit punches thrown too but he definitely kicked him hard in the face. My mom calls me again and says “they finally caught him! They were so close [to me]. This guy is so dangerous. He could have easily killed someone in this chase! But he is a good driver.” Haha, still high.

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This week I challenge you to masturbate while driving. (I’m sure you already do this if you have tinted windows.)

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I am really excited! I left a three muskateers bar in my car last night and it was noon the next day by the time I remembered. It was a pretty hot and sunny morning. When I opened the passenger side door to pick up my chocolate, it was already melted soft and warm. That’s a shitty feeling, isn’t it? Really, one of the worst. It doesn’t happen often with all of us but it’s just one of those pet peeves. Anyway, I immediately took it and put it in the fridge that I have here in the garage. That was about . . . 13 hours ago!!!!!!!!!! It must be really cold now. I’ll go check. Hell yeah. It worked!

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The first time I did shrooms was about two years ago. I was with a group of friends but sorry, I don’t remember exactly who was all there. I remember we were at taco treat in arcadia and I ordered 3 of their tacos to eat. We sat down on the bench besides the building and added our special ingredients to our food. I had about an eighth of the stuff. 2 caps, 2 stems. Boy, it tasted like shit on it’s own but fuck, I really love tacos! I gobbled up my shroom tacos and it was a fantastic meal. We smoked some weed in the car and pondered what to do for the rest of the evening. Someone had a bright idea of idling at best buy so we decided to start the car and begin our trip. I could’ve been driving (I honestly don’t remember this detail) when the shrooms started to kick in. from my view, the corners of the windshield and whatever was out there in that open road was melting together into one beautiful swirly canvas. i ignored it. I couldn’t give into my hallucinations now, I’m driving. I’m known among my friends as “the responsible one”. We got to the best buy parking lot SAFELY and walked towards the front entrance. The trip was REALLY starting to kick in now. the sun was setting and the buildings, landscape, and scenery was colored a golden hue. I felt like I was in a vast desert. A black man with these extreme, angular, strong features hurriedly walked past us and I cringed in terror. He looked like a fucking goblin! This little toddler stood against the corner and looked at me. she looked like a fucking goblin too!!! The walls of best buy started to wave and flex and I felt vertigo consume my personal gravity. Rock band just came out and they had a demo with a guitar, bass, mic, and drums for customers to play. We all started playing. My friends were doing alright (they hadn’t taken as much as me). I was playing drums but no matter what I fucking did, I could not sync my hits with the hits in the goddamn game! I felt an elevation in my brain. I had to do something. I got up and said “I’m going for a walk” and without waiting on a word from my friends, I darted away and started to make rounds around the whole store. I sped walked up and down every aisle of best buy while my trip was getting more and more intense. I was trapped. Shrooms are no fucking joke, man. I was tripping hard. People were everywhere. Their faces were mangled into anguished expressions seeding with demonic auras. I closed my eyes and walked faster to ignore all the monsters and mutants surrounding me. i stop to read the boxes of some dvds for a few minutes. I don’t understand any of this. I start to walk and suddenly my vision is flooded a rich yellow and orange and red. The sunset has come into the store. A purple comes out of the corner and into the background. It recedes to a blue and I am standing on grass. I walk towards my friends. I say “it’s really kicking in.” I watch them play rock band some more. I can’t stand it. What the fuck is going on??? I bailed and walked some more around the store. Each time I came back around to my friends, I would stop and notice that the peak just would not let up. Some other stuff must’ve happened. Later on we drove to andrew’s house and hung out for a while. More weed was smoked, another day wasted on recreational substance experimentation, and all was well in my sleepy old town.

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things I would really like to do before I die: ride a hot air balloon, try pure acid, drive a tank, make friends with a wild bear, train to jump over a 100 feet high, play a show while skydiving, arm wrestle a dude hard enough so his arm breaks, learn to speak fluent Esperanto, catch a predator, grow a nice beard for a season.